Exposing Your Private Thoughts Is Key
Teachings from This Moment Is Your Miracle
One of the biggest secrets we try to keep is a sense of autonomy and pride. The idea or feeling that you are important in some special way, that you are loved by a special person, that somebody is giving you special attention, these are some of the ego’s very subtle secrets. We are trying to hide our Divine Self and are playing all these different games, which seem to be very upsetting. It is pretty depressing and it really doesn’t go anywhere, so we try to get scraps of special love, attention and recognition to prop ourselves up.
We work so hard at becoming “better people”, at gaining greater intelligence and more skills. We want to be liked more and be more popular. The entire self-help industry is focused on improving the self so you can become a better you. That is another trick we secretly play on ourselves, thinking we have to keep spinning our wheels trying to become better. This self-improvement game is another secret we can to learn to let go of. It is very relaxing when you start to realize that you do not have to become any better than you already are. You were created perfect. It is not through self-improvement that you find peace but through self-acceptance.
As I worked with A Course in Miracles, I could see that there was a fear of divine love in my mind. I realized this was the ego’s fear of losing itself. The ego is afraid of being exposed and being seen as a puff of nothingness. That is the fear of intimacy. We talk about this fear in relationships, which is sometimes projected as fear of sexual intimacy, but it is really a fear of dropping our persona, our mask of individuality. It is the fear of getting swept away by a glorious love, a love so powerful that none of us can even imagine something as glorious and powerful!
For me, those are the big secrets, because it doesn’t start off with this great awareness. It always starts with feeling like you have done something wrong, whether you’ve masturbated, stolen something, mistreated somebody, or there is something in your mind that you have judged as so hideous that you don’t even want to face it, you just want to forget about it and push it out of awareness.
Underneath all those memories and thoughts, is the belief that we are separated. This is the “secret” we hide. It really is an impossible belief, but we believe that it is true; We have judged it as horrific and have pushed it out of awareness. All unconscious guilt comes from this belief in separation. And as you really give yourself over to the miracle, you feel all those hidden beliefs and secrets are being washed away and you finally face this hidden belief in separation!