Fear of Rejection and Opening to Trust, Forgiveness, and Lasting Love

Question:
Dear David,

Someone new has entered my life and so much fear, doubt, and confusion has been flushed up. Can you please share some thoughts on letting go of fear of rejection and perceived upsets in the world?

David Hoffmeister:
Hello Beloved One,

Thank you for your question. Relationships and Silence have a way of flushing into awareness what has been buried and pushed out of awareness. When emotions seem intense there is an incentive to trace a perceived upset inward toward the root decision and then choose again by letting it go. The answer always comes from within although it may appear to be reflected in the thoughts and words of “another person” or in the symbols of the world of images.

Thank you for your willingness to look at the belief in and the fear of future rejection. The ego takes past memories of pain and rejection and loss and projects a future of more of the same. This is how anxiety and worry seem to be triggered in consciousness. The ego’s use of time is to reinforce guilt and fear by attempting to teach the mind that the future will be like the past. The Holy Spirit teaches the mind that the past is gone and only a blessing remains. The ego seeks to use time to retain pain while the Holy Spirit dissolves the belief in time and the pain it seemed to bring.

The relationship opportunity before you is truly an opportunity to open to loving unconditionally as God loves. It is always helpful to remember this order in Awakening: first forgive, then Love. This is because forgiveness clears away the obstacles to the awareness of Love’s Presence. Love is ever Present. If one keeps relationship in the proper focus, that of unlearning or releasing the false, then the lesson of complete forgiveness, or Atonement, is a welcome direction. When one is looking for unconditional love FROM a partner the focus for the relationship becomes distorted and there is an experience of emotional pain.

Rejection is the core of the ego belief system, a system based on the foundation of unworthiness and lack and incompletion. The ego seeks love partners as God substitutes in the hope of finding completion and wholeness in form. Yet no person can substitute for the Love within that God freely gives forever. To believe in the ego is to believe that it is possible to reject God and be rejected by God. This is impossible in truth, yet to the ego it is a “reality” that the world was made to prove. The world witnesses to whatever the mind believes, and self-sabotage in relationships is a form of punishing the self to mitigate a feared punishment from God. The Holy Spirit teaches that rejection and punishment have no reality for they have no source. God is Pure Love and all brothers and sisters reflect that Pure Love in complete forgiveness.

Happily you are opening to your function and the Purpose of all relationships is becoming clearer. To learn how to give unconditional Love requires forgiveness of the split mind. No one can serve two masters, and our service to God is a service to our Self which God created in Innocence. How wonderful it is that the thoughts of and encounters with this new partner have brought up the deep-seated fears and insecurities for healing! And how wonderful it is that you have called forth witnesses of love and encouragement to witness for safety and compassion as you question and release these fears and insecurities! This is precisely how the Plan of undoing the ego proceeds. For it is impossible to accept Atonement without first removing the blocks in awareness.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings and for sharing the witness of miracles as you experience them. Miracles always bring release from the fixed belief in the reality of the past. Anxiety about the future is always a cover for the fear of the Present, yet miracles open the way to the acceptance of the Holy Instant. As the ego vanishes from awareness, so does the fear of Eternity. And as Eternity is remembered the idea of rejection first seems laughable and then simply ceases to seem to exist.

All relationships given over to the Holy Spirit are lessons in seeing the falsity of the ego made self-concept and overlooking it, thereby recognizing the True Self as Christ. For images can never really veil the truth of Christ in God.

Love & Blessings forever and ever,

David